Definition of selfish: Webster's Dictionary: 1. Concerned only or primarily with oneself without regards to others. Synonym: Self-centered, self-seeking

The opposite energy is "selfless"

Definition of Selfless: Concerned about others rather than oneself. Synonym: unselfish

This life is about discovering and inventing self. Who are we now? Who have we been? Who are we becoming? There is a balance, a Yin and a Yang, as with all things.

Discovering yourself cannot be completed in a vacuum and this brings many opportunities to grow every day our way. All opportunities present challenges to us and we can rise to meet them or fear them and push them aside.

Life is about interaction, learning from everyone we meet. The greatest opportunities can come from how we choose to interact with others. The stronger the clash the greater the lessons you can learn with that person. Learning is a choice, not learning is another choice.

Strong interaction means that greater fears will be brought up for us to clear. It is from our repeated actions that we become stuck in our patterns and here the opportunities to grow can be great. The chance to break free of our patterns and allow the wonders of the universe in.

There are two extremes in relationships, both personal and business. On one hand you can put yourself first all the time. By definition you are "selfish." If someone is to have a relationship with you they must meet your needs. They must become subservient to you in some ways. That is what you draw to yourself. If they are not subservient they are pushed away. It is seldom that you can fully respect that person who fills your needs because they do not have what you perceive as strength. Yet, in many ways they are "stronger" than you presently are. It is their strengths that you need. An interesting paradox.

A selfish person can use people and cast them aside. They got what they think they needed, goodbye! That is also an illusion. Each person is an equal part of the whole, God, if you want to place a name on it. There is not real separation from each other, only illusions and boundaries. Each person shows us aspects of the whole that we are and do not see in ourselves, yet it all exists in us.

There is an old saying. There, but for the grace of GOD go I. All beings have aspects of both "good" and "evil" It is the choices we make that tip the scale one way or the other at any point in time.

Finding oneself is a never ending journey that we create for ourselves. It is the journey and it is how you treat yourself and others that is important, not the goal. Every goal is an end and a beginning all in one. While the journey lasts, the goals never do. We can lose ourselves while focusing on goals. Can we find a balance or have tunnel vision, so focused on goals that life and its wonders pass us by?

With the opposite extreme, you may put others above yourself. Are you giving away your power and control of your life? This also leads to very interesting and sometimes hard lessons as we look for guidance through this life. A selfless person also uses people. This is to fulfill their perceived need to help people.

We can overdo the "self-ish" part of this very easily as we are awakening. We can equally overdo becoming "self-less." Neither is balance, yet they provide the lessons we need at the time. The question is; are we learning the lessons or becoming stuck?

When one fears losing their power to others they are pushed to the opposite extreme. We are pushed by our fears, it is the force that swings the pendulum from extreme to extreme.

In the middle is balance. With any balancing, things happen to unbalance the situation. The ride through life is much smoother here and change can come the quickest because there are fewer fears that we have to overcome. When a balance is occurring, we tend to become less open to change. This in itself changes the balance, setting that pendulum in motion again.

The ability to work with people for mutual goals is strong in the semi and balanced state. One way of "judging" your balance at anytime is your reaction to others you have been able to work with in the past. Respecting other people's opinions as much as you do your own is also in balance. Knowing that your way is not the only way, there are an infinite number of ways. Each way presents different lessons and each person's lessons are exactly what they need. There is no need to impose what you perceive as correct on others.

We have much to learn from everyone we meet. Our present patterns focuses the course of our learning. There are also many things we are here to learn of which we are not aware. These "hidden" lessons are to get us past our fears. To grow in directions we had not consciously planned.

May your life be balanced between "self-ish" and "self-less," full of growth and wonder without fears.

With Love,

Richard Davis 4-18-2002